What does Arthur Brooks, formerly president of the non-profit Washington DC social issues thinktank The American Enterprise Institute, Harvard Business School professor, well-known happiness lecturer and Atlantic Monthly columnist, have in common with Jay Leno and the ancient Jewish Kings David and Solomon? All of these men knew a very important secret to the contented life.

Dr. Brooks once revealed that when he expressed frustration with his early musical career, his father replied by reminding him that he wasn't really that special an individual. This presumed shocker not only put Brooks back on track with enjoying his original vocation, it also set him on his quest to understand how living outside yourself, that is, jettising the innate drive toward self-actualization, is the key to fulfillment and even prepared him for his very successful life's work of encouraging contentment in others. Former Tonight Show host, comedian and famous car collector Jay Leno expresses the same principle when he sums up his well-deserved reputation for being uncommonly serene and unflappable, with, "You know, we really aren't that important, we need to get over ourselves. 'What does it matter?', that's my rule for life". Israel's King David, monarch over some of his nation's most glorious period, recorded his take on the same perspective when he wrote in in Psalms Chapter 18, "God, the example of Your gentleness has prepared me to be who I am".

It is a blessing when once you have hit on this vital realization, which is actually a form of humility, a taking leave of self-pursuit. Taken to its logical end, it means letting go of what people might be thinking about you. As David's son Solomon put it in Proverbs Chapter 29, "Worrying about what people think about you is self-destructive". Ain't it though!